What do you do when your best efforts aren't ever good enough? How do you hold those you love with an open hand, when all you want to do is squeeze them tightly? What do you say to someone who is staring death in the face? How do you comfort them? What does that journey down that road look like? Is there any way to prepare for it? What do you do to find peace, when all around you is utter chaos? What if the only constant in your life right now is change?
These are just a few of the questions swirling around in my brain right now. A few things that I am attempting to wrap my head around while also staying present and mindful of the activity happening right NOW.
My family is being wrung out, refined, put in the kiln, and stripped bare right now. Some days are better than others, some moments are better than others. Some days just feel like I am an article of clothing, thrown in the wash and swirling around without any hope of finding rest until the cycle is complete. Hmmm, until I am made complete?
On any given day: I'm a single parent, a parent to a parent, a chauffer, a caregiver, a listener, a truth-teller, a prayer warrior, a chef, a housekeeper, a yogi, a learner, a teacher, one and only one person.
I can only do what I can do. I can only handle what I can handle. I have to stay healthy, I must have good self-care, and I have to let it ALL go and give it ALL to God. These are important points to remind myself of at the moment. Oh yeah, and give myself and others grace all the while.
