What about me?

After JJ and David sang five times in two days, we are preparing to head out of the Redlands, and back to Phoenix for a much needed few days of rest. I've still been living out of the same suitcase that I left Denver with, one month ago....with a couple loads of laundry in between.

I enjoyed seeing a good friend while I was here in California. She added a slice of familiarity and comfort that I really needed. Thanks Kel. She reminded me that I can't take care of anyone if I don't take care of myself. I know that, and I can tell myself that, but there's a feel that's completely different hearing it from someone else. It caused me to break down for a second and shed a few tears. I think I've done a good job of being self aware through this process, but it is also easy to lose perspective and keep giving and giving and going strong, because there is so much to be done, and always something to do. Someone to care for.

Today we are driving back to AZ, and after four days of watching a little one, I will stay a night at my parents house and take on the responsibility of watching out for three big ones. Not because it's expected, because I love them. Because I know the stress they are under. Because I would want someone to do the same. I'll also have three days to hopefully move out of my car and into the house that I will be staying at for a while, when we are in Phoenix. Yep, my car still has all of my belongings in it from when I did this. Then it's off to San Jose for several days.

Some days just feel really heavy. Yesterday was one of those days. Sometimes I feel helpless. Like events happening in my life are completely out of my control. I hate that feeling. I want to be in control. I want to call the shots. And then reality sets in- I remember that I am NOT the One who calls the shots. But I know the One who is, and when I start to feel the weight of life pressing down on me, I must concentrate on what I CAN do, not what I can't. I CAN pray. I CAN be present wherever I am, and be helpful and productive in that situation. I CAN stop worrying, because that isn't helping anyone. And I CAN take care of myself.

His mercies are new every morning, and I feel them on this morning. Great is Thy faithfulness. Now hopefully the baby won't scream for five hours in the car.

Kinda Random

So most of you have heard of this gal, and probably have seen this already. I hadn't yet, and it moved me to tears! Check it out:

Watch a Dream Come True - Susan Boyle

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Oh. My. Goodness.

The last three weeks have been a blur. Let's summarize, shall we?

-I completely uprooted myself from Denver, CO (a place I hold near and dear to my heart... I will come back!)

-Went to Nashville for a week and a half to hang out with my niece while David and JJ recorded their new album (called "Deeper", it's gonna be sweet).

-Found out midway through our time in Nash that Josh has cancer.

-Flew back to Denver for less than 24 hours, packed up all of my belongings, drove to Phoenix in 12.5 hours with Bella scrunched in the backseat

-Less than 24 hours later flew to CA, back to AZ, flew to TX, found out while there that my grandmother passed away.

-Flew back to AZ, less than 12 hours later flew to PA to attend my grandmother's funeral.

-Today...in AZ. Tomorrow...in CA.

- Oy.

Newport Beach

Okay, so I forgot my camera, but JJ had hers! Here's a good one of Lucy when we were hanging out at Newport Beach. She's recently begun to sit up on her own very well. It was a perfect day to be outside with a soft ocean breeze, the sun shining, and lots of happy people all enjoying the beach!

Oops....

I forgot to charge my camera battery between trips, so I don’t have any pics from our LA trip this weekend. Sorry, no visual material to go along with this post. We spent a great few days hanging out in Southern California, I stayed with JJ’s cousin and her family, while David, JJ and Lucy were just down the road staying at the worship pastor’s house of the church where they played on Sunday.

Both of the shows where David and JJ sang were very well received, and of course, everyone absolutely loved Lucy! This was not the first time I heard ladies commenting to one another, “Oh look at that cute little doll-baby!”

My mind traveled between being present, and thinking about Josh and my parents, dealing with everything that is going on back in Phoenix. I am looking forward to seeing them this afternoon as we spend less than 24 hours in AZ before heading to Texas for some shows over the next several days.

Josh is spending his time recovering from the colectomy, and will hopefully continue to feel better with each day- as his pain subsides, and he learns how to effectively maintain and live with a colostomy bag. He has had a few visitors come out to the house to visit or play Xbox with him.

Please pray for rest for Josh and my parents, continued healing from the surgery, and that Josh would see God in the midst of all that is happening. That he would recognize the orchestration of God’s hand in this mess- that we all would.

12.5 hrs later!

I made it! And almost all of my stuff did too, thanks to my all-star roommates that helped me pack the car. Bella had less than half the backseat to her name, but she was a total trooper! The day started off with a quick trip to get the tire pressure checked, just in case. The front left tired looked a little flat; and for good read, it had a nail in the sidewall. So thanks to God's protection, I got it patched up before I even left town!

Getting all patched up

Here are a couple pics right before taking off....Bella is on the other side :(

And I took this one as I was driving into AZ, back to the old stompin' grounds...



So after a night's rest, I am off to LA this afternoon to meet up with JJ and Co. for a couple of shows this weekend.

The job of a nanny is never done!

Please continue to be in prayer for Josh and my family. Josh is now home from the hospital and recuperating from surgery.

Crap.

Sorry to have a lull in the blog-posting arena the past several days. I've been trying to wrap my head around some news about my oldest brother, Josh, that has shocked us all. On Friday night Josh went in for surgery to have a fistula repaired in between his colon and bladder, and came out of surgery with the news that he had six inches of his colon removed, and they found vast amounts of cancer throughout his GI tract. Cancer. Wow. What? Yeah.

Friday night was full of tears and trying to get my head wrapped around the reality of the situation. Saturday was a bit of a blur- pulled weeds, cried, zoned out, held back more tears, watched a movie....

By Saturday afternoon I was able to feel more at peace with the situation and do some processing with David and JJ regarding what was happening. A welcomed relief has been seeing Lucy's smiling face on a daily basis. Her eyes and smile just melt my heart every time!

The decision was made for us to stay in Nashville until the recording project that David and JJ have been working on is finished. They just have one more day now, and the project has turned out so well!

Right now we are just taking things day by day with Josh's situation, and asking for lots and lots of prayer. Please join our family in asking the Lord for peace over this unforseen circumstance, and that He would be glorified through it all.

I love you bro!

A Daily Ritual

I never thought I'd be so grateful for a cemetery! The recording studio backs up to one, intentionally, so that it cuts down on noise pollution for recording purposes. It comes in handy for Lucy and me to get out of the studio when Lu starts to get fussy as well. It's quite peaceful in there, and no one cares much (or at all....they're dead) if Lucy fusses a bit!