Here are a few pics from our time!
On our way to Fisherman's Warf for a Chowder breadbowl
The Girls :)
The Bay Bridge on a beautiful day
Kristin and me- friends from the club soccer days
Monday, November 23, 2009
NoCal
Today is the last day that we are in San Jose before heading back to AZ for some Thanksgiving dinner and time at home for a few weeks! While in Northern California, there were many things to smile about, whether it be a really good interview for JJ on KLove, or me getting to see an old friend I've known since I was 11. We also spent an afternoon in San Fransisco on the way back to San Jose from the Klove studio in Sacramento. I had never been up to Coit Tower before, so the four of us headed up for the spectacular view it provides at the top of the hill, overlooking the bay in a 360 degree view! My favorite line of the day was from JJ who said, "Today, I love my job." My sentiments exactly!
Here are a few pics from our time!
On our way to Fisherman's Warf for a Chowder breadbowl
The Girls :)
The Bay Bridge on a beautiful day
Here are a few pics from our time!
On our way to Fisherman's Warf for a Chowder breadbowl
The Girls :)
The Bay Bridge on a beautiful day
Thursday, November 12, 2009
The Trip to Tucson
On Tuesday this week I took Josh down to the University Medical Center down in Tucson for his second Chemotherapy drip. I wanted to do this. I wanted to do this for myself, so that I could experience what Josh goes through when he is getting his treatment. I wanted to be able to relate to him regarding this experience. I wanted to do it for my parents. They have done so much for Josh lately, it was time to give them a break. I wanted to do it for Josh, to give him a break from my parents, and to walk beside him through this journey.
I felt the prayers of those who have been supporting me and my family. I felt like God carried us through the whole process on Tuesday, from start to finish. The staff at UMC are really wonderful, the facilities are very comfortable and peaceful, and the free wireless connection was a nice bonus :)
It was hard to hold back asking Josh questions about the process of the day, but I could tell her was anxious about it already, and I didn't need to add to that. So I tried as best I could to accommodate him, carry his stuff, grab things from the car if he needed them, and waited...and waited...and waited.
Every nurse that Josh came in contact with was soon won over by his knowledge of what they were doing, or his vigor in wanting to hit this cancer with all he's got. Every procedure left everyone with a smile on their face, from the blood draw, to the exam, to the 3 1/2 hours of chemo. It was pretty amazing to watch, actually. Josh just has a way with the nurses.
The next day was a little more on the overwhelming side for me, as we met with the homeopathic doctor (cash only) and he recommended about half a dozen supplements for Josh to take, on top of the other four or five medications he is already taking. I agree the Western medicine and Eastern medicine should coincide with one another, I just wish there was a way to get some of it covered by insurance. Josh is shoveling out a lot of money for these natural remedies. On top of which, he is talking to two or three other friends that are recommending their own concoctions for Josh to try. Josh's brain just soaks up all the information, but hearing all of this stuff for the first time sort of made m head spin and overwhelmed me.
And even though I want Josh to do whatever he can to kill this cancer, I think there has to be a limit to how many different things he can put in his body. This next cycle, if Josh ingested all the pills that have been recommended by all of the people he has been talking to, he is probably up to a couple dozen a day. Between the Xeloda, the anti-nausea, the pain killers, the supplements, and the homeopathic remedies. It was all just a little much for me.
The important thing is that I experienced it all WITH Josh. We were able to talk about it. Sit in it. And just be. I made sure he knew that I love him and want what is best for him. And he gave me permission to kick his butt back into place if it comes to that.
We made it back home, I went for a nice long run yesterday afternoon, and then had a wonderful yoga session this morning. Thank the Lord for exercise! Now I prepare for a week and a half on the road....Texas and California here we come!
I felt the prayers of those who have been supporting me and my family. I felt like God carried us through the whole process on Tuesday, from start to finish. The staff at UMC are really wonderful, the facilities are very comfortable and peaceful, and the free wireless connection was a nice bonus :)
It was hard to hold back asking Josh questions about the process of the day, but I could tell her was anxious about it already, and I didn't need to add to that. So I tried as best I could to accommodate him, carry his stuff, grab things from the car if he needed them, and waited...and waited...and waited.
Every nurse that Josh came in contact with was soon won over by his knowledge of what they were doing, or his vigor in wanting to hit this cancer with all he's got. Every procedure left everyone with a smile on their face, from the blood draw, to the exam, to the 3 1/2 hours of chemo. It was pretty amazing to watch, actually. Josh just has a way with the nurses.
The next day was a little more on the overwhelming side for me, as we met with the homeopathic doctor (cash only) and he recommended about half a dozen supplements for Josh to take, on top of the other four or five medications he is already taking. I agree the Western medicine and Eastern medicine should coincide with one another, I just wish there was a way to get some of it covered by insurance. Josh is shoveling out a lot of money for these natural remedies. On top of which, he is talking to two or three other friends that are recommending their own concoctions for Josh to try. Josh's brain just soaks up all the information, but hearing all of this stuff for the first time sort of made m head spin and overwhelmed me.
And even though I want Josh to do whatever he can to kill this cancer, I think there has to be a limit to how many different things he can put in his body. This next cycle, if Josh ingested all the pills that have been recommended by all of the people he has been talking to, he is probably up to a couple dozen a day. Between the Xeloda, the anti-nausea, the pain killers, the supplements, and the homeopathic remedies. It was all just a little much for me.
The important thing is that I experienced it all WITH Josh. We were able to talk about it. Sit in it. And just be. I made sure he knew that I love him and want what is best for him. And he gave me permission to kick his butt back into place if it comes to that.
We made it back home, I went for a nice long run yesterday afternoon, and then had a wonderful yoga session this morning. Thank the Lord for exercise! Now I prepare for a week and a half on the road....Texas and California here we come!
Saturday, November 07, 2009
How quickly things can change.
Quite the contrast from my last post, but such is life. I have spent the last day and a half full time with JJ and little Lucy to provide some extra help while David spends the weekend with some old buddies hiking down the Grand Canyon. I'm a bit jealous. Things have been going well, Lucy has been great during the day....last night was a little rough in the sleep department. Must have been going around though, because when the three of us arrived at my parent's house this morning to check out the neighborhood garage sale, I could tell it was gonna be a rough day with Josh.
Things have been going so well lately, but today was one of those days. When he's feeling good, life is good. When he's feeling crappy, it takes a toll on us all. I understand that there will be good days and bad days. And I understand that one's attitude will be affected by this. What I get upset about is the backlash that is directed towards my parents.
These actions are inexcusable and unmerited in regards to my parent's actions and constant sacrifice of themselves for Josh's sake. I become defensive of my parents, especially my mom, who bears the brunt of it, and absorbs all of Josh's comments and harsh words with grace and patience. But I know it is slowly chipping away at her, and it must hurt her heart. It hurts mine.
How do I just allow this to continue? How do I just let it go? Can't I fix it? Isn't there something I can do? Can't this all just go away???
A few days ago I felt like a load had been lifted off of me. Today that load just came back in full force upon me like flash flood.
His mercies are new every morning, great is Thy faithfulness. And repeat.
I think it all hurts so much because I love my family so much. I love Josh. I love my parents. I don't want to see them hurt each other. I don't want Josh to feel like there isn't a single person in our family that isn't on his side. We are all pulling for him, we are all here for him and love him. He needs to see that and recognize it for himself. I can't make him see that. That's a choice he has to make.
May God grant me the gift of mercy and patience during this time. To love Josh without condition. Without expectation. Wanting only what is best for him, what God wants for him.
Things have been going so well lately, but today was one of those days. When he's feeling good, life is good. When he's feeling crappy, it takes a toll on us all. I understand that there will be good days and bad days. And I understand that one's attitude will be affected by this. What I get upset about is the backlash that is directed towards my parents.
These actions are inexcusable and unmerited in regards to my parent's actions and constant sacrifice of themselves for Josh's sake. I become defensive of my parents, especially my mom, who bears the brunt of it, and absorbs all of Josh's comments and harsh words with grace and patience. But I know it is slowly chipping away at her, and it must hurt her heart. It hurts mine.
How do I just allow this to continue? How do I just let it go? Can't I fix it? Isn't there something I can do? Can't this all just go away???
A few days ago I felt like a load had been lifted off of me. Today that load just came back in full force upon me like flash flood.
His mercies are new every morning, great is Thy faithfulness. And repeat.
I think it all hurts so much because I love my family so much. I love Josh. I love my parents. I don't want to see them hurt each other. I don't want Josh to feel like there isn't a single person in our family that isn't on his side. We are all pulling for him, we are all here for him and love him. He needs to see that and recognize it for himself. I can't make him see that. That's a choice he has to make.
May God grant me the gift of mercy and patience during this time. To love Josh without condition. Without expectation. Wanting only what is best for him, what God wants for him.
Thursday, November 05, 2009
Normalizing
I don't know if that's an actual word, but I feel like that's what has happened to me and my family in the last couple of weeks. Seems as though a load has been lifted off of my shoulders, and it was by no strength on my part. Someone much stronger needed to take that load, thank goodness for Him!
I am thankful for a great boss who takes morning and afternoon naps, for the chance to walk through my parent's front door on a daily basis, if I so choose, for sunny days in November to hike a mountain or go on a long trail run. I've found solace in practicing Holy Yoga at my church on a regular basis. It may sound cheesy, but don't knock it til you try it, Alisa will kick your butt!
One more week here in Phoenix before another road trip for a few days. But I'll be ready then. It's been great to be in once place, but it's fun to mi it up every once in a while.
Also, JJ's song "Your hands" has taken off on the radio! She can be heard on a couple major radio stations across the country, including Klove and KSBJ! It's been fun to receive texts from people all across the US who are listening to JJ and wanna share in the excitement :)
God is good. All the time. And His mercies are new every morning.
Truly.
I am thankful for a great boss who takes morning and afternoon naps, for the chance to walk through my parent's front door on a daily basis, if I so choose, for sunny days in November to hike a mountain or go on a long trail run. I've found solace in practicing Holy Yoga at my church on a regular basis. It may sound cheesy, but don't knock it til you try it, Alisa will kick your butt!
One more week here in Phoenix before another road trip for a few days. But I'll be ready then. It's been great to be in once place, but it's fun to mi it up every once in a while.
Also, JJ's song "Your hands" has taken off on the radio! She can be heard on a couple major radio stations across the country, including Klove and KSBJ! It's been fun to receive texts from people all across the US who are listening to JJ and wanna share in the excitement :)
God is good. All the time. And His mercies are new every morning.
Truly.
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